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Secret gestures to warn of domestic violence

Have you seen this hand signal ? This means I need urgent help, I am victim of domestic violence.

We collected some gestures from all over Europe that can help victims of domestic violence to raise the alarm discreetly.


Practice #1 - The simple hand gesture


This simple hand gesture was launched early in the COVID-19 pandemic last year to address a worldwide rise in domestic violence and help those suffering while stuck at home.

The gesture, created by the Women's Funding Network and the Canadian Women's Foundation, was developed to be silently displayed during video calls, to alert family, friends or colleagues that an individual needs help. It has now spread across the globe thanks to social media.

The gesture could also be used in other situations, such as when answering the door.

It involves putting your palm up, tucking your thumb in, and closing your fingers. See the picture above.



Practice #2 - Black/red point in the palm


Showing the palm of your hand with your fingers outstretched is a gesture that allows female victims of domestic violence to discreetly call for help, even in the presence of their attacker. This gesture, adapted for video-conferencing calls, was created in Canada. In France, there is a similar initiative: the black dot in the hand, in India: a red dot. The gesture was created by an English woman who was a victim of domestic violence.


"Signal for Help is important because it's non-verbal and is powerful regardless of language and culture." – Women's Funding Network CEO, Elizabeth Barajas-Roman

Practice #3 - Going into a bar and asking for Angela


In England, a system has been introduced to combat harassment in bars. To report danger to staff, simply ask if Angela is there.

Born in a pub in Lincolnshire in 2016, the practice has spread to France following the initiative of a feminist student collective in Rouen. Several bars in the city were approached and today, the warning code is applied in 35 businesses in Rouen. In 2019, the towns of Caen and Amiens have opted to adopt the same warning code.

In Belgium, the idea of introducing the same system emerged in 2021. An Instagram account was opened for the campaign. In its posts, the Angela team asks where you go out most often (bars, restaurants, nightclubs) in order to work with as many establishments as possible.


Practice #4 - Sending a text message or call the hotline


In France, victims of violence can discreetly alert the police by texting 114 . This initiative is in addition to existing emergency numbers such as 39 19 and chat rooms. The operators behind this emergency SMS will then notify the police, giving them the victim's contact details.

In Belgium, you can can contact the free helpline on 0800/30.030. It is anonymous and run by professionals specialising in domestic violence. We wrote about it here.


Tip #5 - Ask for a '19 mask'


In Belgium and Spain, pharmacies have introduced a secret code: ask for a ‘19 mask’.

In the UK, private pharmacies launched the action, with the code word ANI. If a victim asks for ANI (which stands for "action needed immediately"), a trained pharmacy worker will offer to take them aside where they can discreetly help them either contact domestic abuse services or the police.

Both alert mechanism proved to be a discreet and sensitive way to help support some of the most vulnerable people.


Tip #6 - iPhone emergency SOS


Apple's iPhones have a feature which allows you to discreetly make an emergency call and share your location at the same time.

On more recent handsets, from iPhone 8 onwards, you can press and keep holding the side button and either volume button to discreetly make an emergency call.

When you do this, the emergency SOS slider appears: drag to call emergency services.

If you continue to hold down the side and volume button instead, a countdown begins and a loud alert sounds. If you keep holding until the countdown ends, your iPhone automatically calls emergency services.


On iPhone 7 or earlier, you can get the emergency SOS slider by rapidly pressing the side button five times.

After the call ends, your iPhone will ping your emergency contacts with a message that says you have called emergency services and your current location, unless you choose to cancel.

You can manage your emergency contacts by editing your medical ID in the health app on iPhone. It will do this even if your location services are off. If your location changes, your contacts will get an update for a limited time. For Apple's full walkthrough, head here.


There is a similar feature on Android phones, but how they work varies between manufacturers.

On Samsung, there is an SOS feature within your device's advanced settings. When turned on, pressing the lock button three times will automatically send a message to a dedicated contact with a link to your location. You can also choose to include a photo or voice message. Read Samsung's full guide here.


Using the appropriate help


Experts say that we can make a situation even more dangerous by intervening inappropriately. What does this mean? When a woman reports a black dot on her hand, it means she's in a violent situation, or even in danger. 'Obviously, there will be situations of absolute urgency where a call to emergency services will be necessary. But we can also make a situation even more dangerous by intervening inappropriately. So you need to surround yourself with professionals’, explains Françoise Brié, director of the Fédération nationale Solidarité Femmes, in France.


If it's a woman you know, you can call the local associations to talk to her and ask: ‘I've had this signal, what's the best way for me to help her? It could be as simple as visiting her, inviting her into your home. Try to come up with excuses to get her out of the house.


Other tools

There are other types of help, like the applications (Safe Wife, the Sorority, App-Elles) that we already talked about in this blog.


Credit: The Sorority Foundation, France


Have you used any of these discrete gestures? Which ones proved to be efficient?

Did you get the appropriate help you hoped for?


Let's discuss it further on our social media channels.


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